Young men in particular who often view pornography may become so accustomed to it that they actually prefer it to having sex with a partner. Therapist Angela Gregory has seen several men in the past few years who are young, healthy, and have no medical issues, and yet they experience erectile dysfunction with their partner. One young man who experienced this problem recalls that he “found that when [he] was lying next to a girl . . . [he] just wouldn't be [aroused] at all, despite being really attracted to the girl and wanting to have sex with her, [because] [his] sexuality was completely wired towards porn.”
After getting help from his doctor, this same young man went from watching pornography for 2 hours per day to not watching it at all, and he was able to have healthy sexual relationships again. He advises anyone struggling with sexual difficulties related to consistent pornography usage to research the problem more online and tell a few close friends about the issue to help establish accountability. His final words of encouragement: “Don’t worry, there are many of us in the same boat.”
Unrealistic Expectations for Partners
Those who discover pornography at a young age, typically due to curiosity about sex, may have completely unrealistic expectations for their own relationships. Pornography is mostly targeted at men, and the internet has depicted countless male fantasies of beautiful, submissive women who are willing to do anything.
Pornography exaggerates nearly every part of sexual activity, from the size of genitalia to how women respond during sex. These unattainable aspects can cause disappointment when a person has sex with their partner because real sex isn’t as perfect as pornography leads them to believe it should be.
The study found that those who usually portrayed these harmful behaviors were “overwhelmingly male.” Females were usually the subject of these acts, and appeared to either enjoy the aggression or simply accept it. Men who frequently watch pornography can start to believe female humiliation and degradation is erotic or sexy.
Can My Relationship Be Saved?
A couples therapist helps partners resolve problems with communication, sexual difficulties, and other issues that can cause tension in a relationship. Therapy can provide helpful skills to help you and your partner resolve conflicts and understand each other better, and couples therapy is usually short-term. Couples Clinic is a great resource for couples who would like to try couples therapy. On their website, you can view profiles of qualified therapists and schedule an appointment today.