Grief and Loss

Grief is natural because loss is inevitable

Grief and loss are realities that can be unbearable. It forces people to reconstruct themselves because when you lose something or someone important, your life, as it is, no longer makes sense. This can be an arduous process of slowing down, deconstructing parts of your life that were connected with the loss, and then, eventually, reconstructing a new life. Although it can be excruciating, it is also a natural healing process that helps people to move forward, even when it may feel impossible. 

Grief is Peronsal Process

Grieving can look different for everyone. It depends on the kind of bond we had with someone or something, the importance we give to what we feel is lost to us and even our own resilience at the time. Studies have shown that people tend to hurt more and have trouble overcoming loss when tragedy seems to strike too many times (for instance losing a child and your job in the same year). 
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However some people may seem as if they have “everything put together” and overcome loss easily. But don’t rush into judgment because everyone grieves in their own way. Some people express their pain more openly while others prefer to suffer in silence.

How long is the grieving process

There are no rules and everyone grieves their own way – and need their own time. Researchers suggest many individuals experience grief over a two-year period for serious loss. Nonetheless that is not always the case. Also, grief changes depending on the circumstances of the loss and if the loss is complicated. 

Common emotional repsonses when losing something important

There are some type of behaviors to be expected when people are coping with loss. Feelings of shock, depression, anger, diet change, denial are common. In cases of prolonged illness, family and friends may feel relief and guilt at the same time – for wishing their loved ones to pass to end their suffering.

Below are some steps on how to grieve:

  • Give yourself time to grieve. Allow yourself to feel your pain and go through it. It will pass in time – your own time. Finally you will be left with the ability to move forward, a level of acceptance, memories, and the pain will be less sharp and urgent. 
  • Talk to others. Keeping it all in is not a good way to handle loss. The pain can seem overwhelming and it helps to talk to someone about it. If you feel like you cannot talk to family or friends, counselling groups can prove to be helpful.
  • Put everything on hold for a while. Rushing in to a new relationship, making big changes in your life, running away from your problems should be something to avoid. This is called fleeing forward and it a coping strategy only meant to avoid dealing with your feelings that creates more confusion into your life then it helps solve your grief. 
  • Seek out professional help. If you feel overwhelmed by your loss, it may be helpful to talk to a professional about it – to help you deal with your feelings and cope with the situation.