It’s romantic to look each other in the eyes and say those emotional, heart-warming things. Wedding vows can set your marriage on the path to success and here are some of the main reasons why they matter so much.
Why it’s a Good Idea to Write Your Wedding Vows
Writing wedding vows is beneficial because of several additional reasons:
- You’re different people: and there could be highly specific things that matter to you. The wedding vows are a perfect reflection of your individualities. You understand more about your partner’s values and beliefs and you can establish a solid foundation for a successful marriage.
- You commit to the promises that you make: saying things out loud makes them more tangible. In essence, you’re saying what you want the marriage to look like and what you’re going to work on. What could be better than setting realistic expectations and committing to the most important promises on that special day?
- Make the ceremony intimate and tailored: many couples want to stray away from the typical ceremony. Writing vows is the perfect way to create an intimate atmosphere, to make the ceremony your own and add a lot of genuine emotion to it.
- It’s an expression of love: you’ve taken the time to think about those promises and to write them down. This is a symbolic expression of your commitment to make a partner happy and to work through the upcoming hardships.
The Scientific Basis of Wedding Vows
Vowing to support the personal growth of a partner, for example, means you’ll be there as an active participant. Promoting the continuous self-development of a significant other is also indicative of your desire to move forward and become a better human being yourself.
Vowing to understand the needs and desires of your spouse-to-be creates trust and a desire for deeper communication with each other. Being an understanding and caring partner is one of the most important factors for the longevity of your relationship.
There’s a scientific explanation for many other common vows that newlyweds exchange. A vow to focus on the future and prevent the past from interfering with the relationship is as important as the previous two. Needless to say, early experiences shape up who we are. They also have an impact on relationships. By making this vow, couples promise each other to be forgiving and to look in the future. A desire to let go of previous negative influences and to learn new things opens the lines of communication, forming a deeper bond.
Here’s one final example – vowing to celebrate the successes of a partner shows you’re truly supportive. People long to feel valued and appreciated by their partners. This vow is a commitment to keeping a significant other happy by being there for them in bad times and in good ones.
How to Write Meaningful Wedding Vows
- Think about what you value in your spouse-to-be: express your gratitude and link your vows to it. Being thankful is a powerful emotion and it makes both of you happier. Saying out loud what you value in your spouse-to-be will definitely make the vows authentic and cliché-free.
- The vows are for you and your partner: you’re not writing for your family and for the reception guests. You don’t have to adhere to social norms and understandings. Imagine that it’s just the two of you and tell your significant other just what you feel.
- Self-reflection: genuine vows are the result of self-reflection. Take some time to think about the relationship so far, the things that have made you happy and the ones that you can improve upon.
- Focus on what you’d like to accomplish together: you’ve already built a relationship but in order to make it exciting and dynamic, you’ll have to continue working together and developing. Tell your partner what you’re going to do in an attempt to keep things fresh and take the relationship to the next level.
- Don’t use templates and don’t do online research: that’s the best way to create generic and empty wedding vows. Chances are that you’ll feel tempted to look for a template and a bit of guidance. Resist that urge and use simple words to show that special someone just how much you love them.
By the Couples Clinic