Marriage is about two imperfectly flawed people coming together with the intent to spend the rest of their lives together, work for the good of a family unit as a whole. Two individuals who have spent the first part of their lives carving out who they are as individuals, now have to carve out a life which is interdependent, dependant and independant of each other. It is a delicate balance
- Interdependent is “When objects or people are interdependent, they come to rely on each other for survival.”
- Dependence is a state where someone is heavily reliant on someone or something else.
- Independence is the state of being free of the control of some other person, country or entity.
Each person has their ideas of the perfect marriage, and each person has hopes, dreams and needs they hope will be met through marriage. This requires us to be able to use our voices to communicate, hear the other person, be heard and plan ahead. Pre-marital counselling can be that opportunity to develop a roadmap to discovering a way to make the marriage healthy and realize both person's hopes, dreams and acknowledge each other's needs
What is Pre-marital Counselling?
Pre-marital counselling is a form of therapy in which the goal is to keep the couple closer, to prevent premature divorce in the first two years of marriage and to help the couple communicate effectively their expectations, desires and dreams.
“But will pre-marital counselling not hurt us and make us want to quit getting married?” – you may be asking yourself. On the contrary, fighting in a couple is a normal part of any relationship and having someone help you sort out most of important issues in your relationship can give you and your partner a serious boost as a couple.
Why Chose Pre-marital Counselling?
Already Living Together, Do You Really Need Pre-marital Counselling?
Although we may not know all the ways that pre-marital counselling impacts couples, research suggests that pre-marital counselling is linked with higher marital satisfaction and lower divorce rates.
What Do People Usually Discuss in Pre-marital Counselling?
- Kids (how many, when you should have them, parenting styles…)
- Sexuality (how it changes over time and how to stay sexually close to your partner)
- Home management (who does what in the house, dividing house chores)
- Money and other financial issues
- Time management (how to spend your free time, respect each other’s boundaries, family holidays, spending time with each other’s families)
- Life’s expectations (how a marriage should be and how it really is, you and your partner’s priorities in life)
- Jealousy and how each of you react
- Marital fears (of not being good enough, of losing interest in one another over time, routine…)
- Mental health issues
How Can Pre-marital Counselling Help?
- It can teach you how to communicate effectively to one another and how to handle conflict
- It’s a great way to start discussing goals, expectations and dreams
- It helps create a secure relationship with your partner and a feeling of being close to one another
- It increases satisfaction with the relationship and your partner
- It helps understand that there will be hard days as much as happy days – and that is possible to overcome the bad days
- It may help build up the couple’s identity – from being a single individual to being part of a team
In our visions of the future, we normally envision ourselves within a family and marriage is a serious commitment that plays an important role in one’s life satisfaction. Seeking professional help to strengthen your relationship before actually getting married is a solid proof of your commitment as a couple.